The joys of snakes, blonds and upcoming death
by inferniayou
Summary: Sasuke had only one year left to live. His last year is spent at Hogwarts. All kind of stuff happens. Crossover with Harry Potter. Pairings : Sasunaru and a bit of Sasurandomguy. The fic mostly centers around Sasuke.


Author's (pathetic) note: This is just an introduction to a wonderful story of love ,adventure and stuff I like. Pardon my English. I hope you will enjoy it. Please ignore the terrible writing style or better yet review it so I could improve it. This chapter doesn't have any action. The next one will. Read,my darlings 

Sasuke was going nuts. Not that he minded. Sadly, he had to be sane if he thought he was insane. What a paradox… Madman doesn't know he's a madman. Anyway, he had been dealing with Orochimaru for the past three years now. Sasuke was left with another year before Orochimaru would take over his body. Sasuke almost waited for that moment. His upcoming death didn't bother him at all. Even the idea of revenge didn't get him going like in the older days. Sasuke had became quite indifferent during those years. Orochimaru was not at all what Sasuke had imagined. Living with that freak turned Sasuke crazy. Sometimes Sasuke was almost hysterical. He would laugh like a fangirl high on gay porn (?) and then cry with the same crazy air.

He often dreamt about Konoha. Mostly of his teammates. When he would wake up tears would just run down his face on their on, this time from real sorrow. He regretted having left Konoha. How could he trade Naruto ,Sakura and Kakashi to Orochimaru was beyond his understanding. Revenge must have corrupted his judgment somehow.

Despite his poor emotional and mental state Sasuke had learned a lot during those three years. First thing he had learned was the fact that Orochimaru is a pedophile. Luckily, Sasuke had some fight against molestation experience. Orochimaru had tried something naughty but, fortunately, he stopped after the first attempt. Which was pretty painful for him. Sasuke almost bit his hand off, kicked him in the crotch and began to charge chidori but the man dodged its wrath. When Orochimaru saw that Sasuke wasn't going to give him his virginity, he thought of another way to make it disappear. That wasn't too bad. Orochimaru gave Sasuke an enjoyable way to relax from training by providing him with numerous man-whores. Actually, they weren't all whores. Some of them were paid, some were just kidnapped and tossed into Sasuke's convincing embrace. That was another thing Sasuke had learned: various ways to please guys. Most of them didn't mind being pimped to Sasuke at all. These guys had a common criteria: they were all young, homosexual and blond. For some reason, Sasuke had a weird blond guys fetish. So was the tragic fate of Sasuke – an orphan, who abandoned his friends, turned into a fuck machine at an age of sixteen. Whatever, he was going to die next year. So he hadn't missed his virginity at all.

However, the thing he missed often was his friends. He was a total asshole to them and he had been sure they hated him until he met them several weeks ago. They were determined to drag him back. Sasuke almost cracked back then. He was trying with all his might to act as bitchy and revenge-obsessed as he could. He was a goddamned spoiled princess of emoland! He knew he couldn't go back, it was too late. Orochimaru would have killed them all if Sasuke decided to run back to Konoha. But Sasuke still wanted nothing more than to grab Naruto, wrap his arms around him and apologize for being such an asshole. But no… He had to keep his cool murderous attitude. He noticed how much his teammates had changed. Sakura looked a lot better- tougher, less fangirlie and generally stronger. And Naruto… Thinking about Naruto gave Sasuke an headache. He felt so much for him. The first emotion was a terrible guilt mixed with regret. Just remembering that day he fought with him in the valley of the end was enough to make his insides contract. He also felt some kind of affection towards Naruto. It was a weird emotion. He never felt about someone else like that. But he already had admitted that Naruto was his closest friend. The worst thing- Naruto was too damn hot. After all, Sasuke had developed a new world-view. He saw thing in a whole new pornographic light. That's why he couldn't help noticing how good-looking Naruto had become. He knew that Naruto would never sign for… well, for "indecent activities" with a guy. Orochimaru noticed Sasuke's emotional torments and took this opportunity to demonstrate his sick sense of humor. The freak was the one dealing with all of Sasuke's boy-toys. Sasuke saw them only in bed. One day he calmly walked into his room already expecting some guy to be there. Sasuke almost had an heart attack when he saw whisker marks on the blond boy's cheek. Later he found out that it was only Orochimaru, messing with his brain (he painted the marks on that guy's face.) Sasuke was too shocked to have sex the whole week.

Now Sasuke was far far away from Konoha and Naruto. He was in England. Orochimaru became interested in magic. Sasuke wasn't even surprised. They met with a weird guy, who looked like a distant cousin of Orochimaru's. Their appearance weren't as similar as their personality. That guy was named "He who must not be named". He had several alternate names but Sasuke liked to call him "He who must not be named" since it was such a ridiculous and funny title. The dude was all snaky and magic. He performed all kinds of tricks with a stick. Sasuke especially enjoyed the "crucio curse". It only hurted like all hell. But Sasuke admitted that the curse was handy. He sure hoped he would be able to give Itachi a taste of it.


End file.
